You may have the right to bear arms, but the government has the right to arm bears. And drop them on you from aircraft.
And here we see how my friends and I so easily move from almost making a point about social justice and abuse of police power to making puns about bears. Really, those cops were either half-assedly enforcing a policy against bench-sleeping or just being jerks to this one guy. In hindsight, we should have pointed out some of the young white couples sleeping in the grass and asked the cops to scooter over there and harass them too, but yknow, hindsight. It turned into a very productive evening of bear puns and bear alternate history (a well-placed Soviet bearatrooper sharpshooter could have taken out Hitler, you know).
ps. i don’t recall who actually coined the term “bearatroopers” so Dirk gets all the comic-based credit. forgive me if it was you. i have forgiven myself in case it was me.