Irish Breakfast

Metro Opens Bottles

Posted in Comics by Emily on May 18, 2011

No food and drink are allowed on Metro.
I'm not sure which one is the grossest.

Thanks to Deb, Michael, Katelyn, Alex, Matt, Meg, Kyle, Scott and Will for assisting with ideas. Most of the ideas we came up with were named more for the demographics (the Columbia Heights: a craft beer paired with pizza and pupusas; the Brookland: red wine and cheap vodka) than the Metro stop itself, and I was going more for Metro jokes, so they didn’t all end up being illustrated. Please feel free to add more in the comments, or add some for your own transit system if you’re not a Washingtonian.


22 Responses

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  1. nsfinch said, on May 18, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    BRILLIANT. “The Orange Line” made me do a spit-take with my own drink. May I suggest for the 29 Express bus: “Whatever you order, you have to stand at the bar to drink it, because other patrons have put their bags and briefcases on every available seat.”

    • Emily said, on May 18, 2011 at 9:20 pm

      Haha, excellent! I’ve never ridden that one but I can imagine….

  2. steve said, on May 19, 2011 at 1:21 am

    What about “the escalator”? A standing shot of common sense where you drink with your right hand. All out-of-towners drink with the left hand until told otherwise.

  3. perkinsms said, on May 19, 2011 at 8:57 am

    These are brilliant, thanks.

  4. Emily said, on May 19, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Haha, I love “the escalator.” Maybe there’s a variation called the Foggy Bottom Escalator that’s served in a paper cup, and the bottom falls out before you can finish.

    also have to share this contribution from Sheepy: “The Green Line: Conservatives are afraid of it, even though it’s only a Black & Tan.” Brilliant….

    • KWM said, on May 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      That “Foggy Bottom Escalator” just made me spray all over my computer screen. Too funny!

  5. Shipsa01 said, on May 19, 2011 at 9:40 am

    I love it! How about for Arlington Cemetary: a red, white and blue layered shot that you have finish before 7:00 pm?

  6. tdcjames said, on May 19, 2011 at 11:03 am

    The Gallery Place II: Midori & pineapple juice, but you have to order it at one end of the bar and pick it up at the other – a pain in the neck at happy hour.

    The Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan: Mix 4oz plain seltzer from Calvert-Woodley with 4oz Great Lakes Brewing Company Dortmunder Gold (available here, but easier to get in Cleveland). Top with a dash of Angostura bitters, a dash slash of Peychaud bitters, and a jumbo slice. Ingredients sound completely unrelated? They pretty much are.

  7. Emily said, on May 19, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Hahaha….you people are geniuses. Love the Woodley Park…we also need a U Street/Cardozo/AACWM that’s a Long Island Iced Tea, but referred to as a Vodka/Tequila/Rum/Gin/Triple Sec/Sour Mix/Coke/Garnish of Lemon.

  8. Justin Jacoby Smith said, on May 19, 2011 at 11:37 am

    “Foggy Bottom Escalator” = funniest thing I’ve read all week

  9. perkinsms said, on May 19, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    The Yellow line – served in a Collins glass, except it’s poured only half full during happy hour.

  10. Don from Iowa said, on May 19, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    I don’t think we have Applebees in Iowa yet!
    Don from Iowa

  11. CLynn said, on May 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    The Tenleytown/American University: Any alcoholic drink that you need to purchase with a fake ID.

  12. Steve said, on May 20, 2011 at 9:11 am

    We totally have Applebee’s in Iowa! Goto the Quad Cities or Iowa City/Cedar Rapids.

  13. Doug said, on May 20, 2011 at 10:17 am

    How about the “Shady Grove” (any drink) but on alternate days any drink you order becomes a “Grosvenor”—Not what you ordered and not enough alcohol to get you anywhere…

  14. matt said, on May 20, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    The Columbia Heights: Doubles in price with every sip.

    • Emily said, on May 20, 2011 at 6:23 pm

      Sounds about right….

  15. Bill said, on May 25, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    The SmarTrip: when told you have to see the manager first, stand there looking dumbfounded and try again. And again. And again….

  16. Jon said, on June 2, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    How about the Double-Walk-Up?

    You get as much as you can drink, only available only during the evening peak-of-the-peak — and only as long as everyone at the bar shoots every drink served to them?

  17. Jon said, on June 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    Also, don’t forget the Hot Car, subbing in habanero-infused vodka for normal vodka, served unsuspectingly to anyone looking for a simple drink during the summer.

  18. Matt said, on December 11, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Silver Line: you order it, but it never gets made.

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