This Is Approximately How I Experience Sports
I dunno, this is like the Eighteen Stages of Football Acceptance or something. I have realized since moving here that being a non-sports fan in Wisconsin is like being an atheist in a really religious town; every Sunday everyone you know goes off somewhere and chants and you keep forgetting it’s a big day for everyone and wondering why the stores are closed. Unlike with religion, though, you can let yourself get converted to sportsism because, what the heck, there’s free booze in it for you. You just have to put up with the bits where you can’t figure out what the hell is going on, and the commercials for cheap beer and diamond rings (I know perfectly awesome people who buy these products, but the advertising during football games is aimed right at the douchebro market). Anyway, if I needed a reason that Wisconsin is better than my previous home of D.C., there’s the fact that our teams win stuff.